We got no food, no jobs...

[Jordan f.]

OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

[age of quarrel]

"excuse me sir, you cant go down there!"
"ITS OK!... I'm a limo driver"

[age of quarrel]

"I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this"
"I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit man"


"So where are you heading'?"
"...Aspen"
"Hmmm, California! Beautiful! "

[age of quarrel]

"Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?"
"How'd you guess?"
"I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together"

[age of quarrel]

"Take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty."
"Extra gloves? You've had extra gloves this whole time?"
"Uh yea, we are in the Rockies

[Hollow]

"PULL OVER!"

"No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!"

-----

"Oh man, I can't believe that worked!"

"Yeah, saw it in a movie once."

"Oh wow, so the guys in the movie got away with it?"

"No, in the movie the truckers catch up to them a half mile down the road and kill them!"

"..."

-----

"Austrian huh? Better go throw another shrimp on the barby!"

----

"Those are IOU's, they're just as good as money. That one's for a Ferrari. Your gonna wanna keep that one."

[Jordan f.]

I don't know, Lloyd. These places always seem to bring back a lot of bad memories.

What's the matter, Har? Some little fillie break your heart?

No, it was a girl.

[officespace]

Big Gulps huh? well see ya
............
I desperately want to make love to a school boy
.........
I wouldn't invade someones privacy like that
so its locked?
yeah really well
...............................

[Jordan f.]

Harry! You're alive! And you're a horrible shot

How about some food?
I swallowed a big June Bug while we were driving. I'm not really hungry.

[grind/bro]

RIP Jim Carrey's career

[officespace]

Harry: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?
..................
Harry: Hi, Lloyd.
Lloyd: Hi, Harry.
Harry: How was your day?
Lloyd: Not bad. Fell off the jet way again
.......................
Harry: Skis, huh?
Beth: That's right!
Harry: Great! They yours?
Beth: Uh-huh.
Harry: Both of 'em?
Beth: Yes.
Harry: Ah... cool!
........................
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance!
........................
Harry: I don't get it, Lloyd. She told me ten o' clock, sharp! Are you sure you went to the right bar?
Lloyd: Yep. I'm pretty sure. Lobby bar right by the lobby.
Lloyd: Maybe she just had a change of heart.
Harry: Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! I like when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now... Wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant ten o' clock at night!
Lloyd: Do you think...?
Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.
.....................
Harry: Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg...
Lloyd: Okay, Kill Him!
.....................
Lloyd: I said, "Do you love me?" and she said, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."

[Jordan f.]

Lloyd: I said, "Do you love me?" and she said, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."

didn't realize this was a rape joke until years later