An open letter to those who knocked over my gear

[Jordan f.]

it was obviously an accident and she shouldn't be hated for it, but she should help out zach and give him some money. If you fuck up, make it right.

[tylerp]

I'd say Zach's equally at fault for letting his gear sit near a mattress, Troy and I are at fault for not having a sign up, Willa's at fault for organizing the show it happened at, and Gibson is at fault for making such expensive guitars. I'm of the opinion that people shouldn't be held accountable for a pure mistake. unless it's like... manslaughter. or accidental rape.

[Hollow]

Sorry Tyler, gotta disagree with you. If you accidentally hit another car with your car, you have to pay to get the other person's car fixed. That's kind of how it works, it doesn't matter if the entire incident was a total mistake or not. I'm not suggesting that those girls maliciously fucked up our gear, but an apology and/or some money are in order. That guitar is gonna need some serious work.

[Josh]

Or, maybe she could fight Zach and we could all pay to watch, and thereby Zach could buy a new guitar, and we would all be enetertained.

[ZACH ATTACK]

I'd say Zach's equally at fault for letting his gear sit near a mattress, Troy and I are at fault for not having a sign up, Willa's at fault for organizing the show it happened at, and Gibson is at fault for making such expensive guitars. I'm of the opinion that people shouldn't be held accountable for a pure mistake. unless it's like... manslaughter. or accidental rape.

I don't know if you noticed, but it's not like you have a huge living room with tons of place to put shit. Where else should I have put it? In the kitchen? Next time we can use your gear because then if it gets fucked we wont have to worry about holding people accountable. But it's my gear, and I'm of the opinion that if you fuck up you own your mistake and do what you can to make it better.

[ZACH ATTACK]

not saying that I'm defending the act of wrecking a guitar, or that I saw the situation, but I heard about it. here's my perspective on things.

the girl who did this is named kelly. she was with another girl named jordon and they're friends with my new girlfriend becky. these girls came to the house, SOBER, having never been to it before. when you walk through the front door and the mattress is up, it's very dark, because the mattress blocks the light switch and the only light source to the front hallway. these girls were VERY intimidated. they weren't even going to come. I think it took some convincing from becky to get company. also, they're becoming my friends too, in the way that relationships kind of introduce you to new people. so anyway, they get inside, they sort of want to assess the situation and regroup before jumping socially into a visually intimidating pack of dudes with patches and tattoos. kelly leans against the mattress, thinking it was just propped against a wall, which is what it looks like. it starts to fall through, a very weird response, and she just goes with it, having no idea that there's a band on the other side. these girls had been at the house a total of maybe a minute and a half at that point.

anyway, so their first impression of the whole thing is that they just knocked a shitload of stuff over and had a large angry tattooed man scream "fuck you" at them. somehow, they managed to work up the ability to stick around a bit longer and try to meet some people. jordon and kelly were very embarrassed about the whole situation and told me how bad they felt, how awkward and accidental the whole thing was. they sort of felt a little alienated from everyone else and hung out in my bedroom a lot. they felt really guilty and didn't even know who to apologize to or what exactly the damage they caused was. they ended up leaving early because of how intimidated they felt. I felt really bad for them and for putting them in that situation.

the whole thing was a giant accident. these girls had never been to a house show before, nor had they been to my house, nor were they alerted about the concept of a mattress for sound dampening. they came uncomfortable and left extremely so. we were talking in the other thread about trying to welcome people to the scene. I know these girls enough to know that they're very well-meaning, very smart, critical thinkers, and open-minded. I'm an okay judge of character. I know when someone is devoid of reasoning, a total air-head, and these girls are nothing like that. I've had conversations about politics and social values with jordon. they could have had a really good time. to my knowledge, they don't have rich parents or an excessively privileged lifestyle. one of them works in retail and they're both students, which generally means that they're both very poor or owe a lot of money. I think the mattress incident is probably enough to scare them from coming to any future hardcore shows.

I'm not saying that it's cool that they did that. it really, REALLY sucks that that's happened to your guitar. I've had gear break on me in the past. troy had an acoustic guitar get its headstock smashed off once. and we've had things go wrong at our house (remember that ipod video and $200 getting stolen from troy's bedroom?). I just don't think anyone is directly responsible for it. it was an accident. nothing really could have prevented it, other than a sign on the door that says "don't touch the mattress" or something. once I accidentally spilled coffee on meaghan kidd's laptop and it pretty much killed it. she understood that the situation was out of my hands and forgave me. these girls had no clue that what they were doing was the least bit dangerous or damaging. please forgive them.

fuck, it really sucks what happened to your guitar. your guitar is better than any guitar I've owned. hell, it's better than any piece of gear I own. I would be really frustrated if I were in your position.

This is all very touching, but did it not occure to either of them to, you know, ask who to appologize to and then actually do it like a reasonable person? If you want to be friends with them that cool, but don't try to justify or rationalize them fucking my shit up and then doing absolutly noting about it.

[ZACH ATTACK]

is it possible that whoever handled the guitar after the mattress incident mistreated it? I played it in dark cloud but I was very careful with it, I promise. I know gray played it a little. what about whoever put it away? I know it wasn't handled once it was stored in our laundry room. I didn't see the mattress thing but it seems like a lot of damage for a giant falling padded surface and a carpeted floor.

Personally speaking, I was bit more concerned with keeping myself under enough control to not just freak the fuck and start strangling people. Between doing my best to just stay calm, set everything back up, make sure it all worked well enough, and then play a set, I didn't really think to myself "Now would be a great time to pull out my magnifying glass and do an in depth examination of everything." I was the guy who put it away, and I was there the whole time anybody else was playing it. I was also there when my amp fell on it. It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out.

Sorry if I'm coming across a dick here, but after two years in Victora, my rig is what I have to show for it. There isn't much else in my life right now that's important enough for me to get upset over it, and for you to try and brush it off as no big deal with nobody really at fault isn't helping things. I'm not asking for the moon here, I'm just really pissed off at this whole situation and would like for the girl responsible to do he responnsible thing. I don't know who she is or how to get a hold of her, so these forums were the next best option. I realize I probably came across pretty harsh in my initial post, but I'd also think that most people know me well enough to know that I don't just lose my shit like that at the drop of a hat. It takes a lot for me to even be annoyed to say anything, much less cuss somebody out like that. I'm not really intrested in causing some huge drawn out drama. Like I said, I just want for the people responsible to do the responsible thing.

[dalamar501]

Or, maybe she could fight Zach and we could all pay to watch, and thereby Zach could buy a new guitar, and we would all be enetertained.

i vote on this method.

[ZACH ATTACK]

I'm really glad this is such a joke to you guys.

[dalamar501]

I'm really glad this is such a joke to you guys.

you know we don't think it is a huge joke. I understand your point of view etc . People are just trying to lighten the mood as well all who are posting here are friends and understand what happened and how much it sucks. We all just have to keep in mind i guess that everyone will take a situation in a different way and what they consider good values to follow in response to mistakes made etc.

I hope Kelly at least responds and appologies. In the least. Maybe she will be able to put a bit forward financially as well. Maybe we can do a house fundraiser show. THAT DOESN't involve knocking over the mattress again.

[keith.]

she was a qt bring her here

[Josh]

Just trying to lighten the mood dude, no offense intended. Its really lame that your gear got fucked up. If the same thing happened to me i would probably have lost it.

[ZACH ATTACK]

I'm really glad this is such a joke to you guys.

you know we don't think it is a huge joke. I understand your point of view etc . People are just trying to lighten the mood as well all who are posting here are friends and understand what happened and how much it sucks. We all just have to keep in mind i guess that everyone will take a situation in a different way and what they consider good values to follow in response to mistakes made etc.

I hope Kelly at least responds and appologies. In the least. Maybe she will be able to put a bit forward financially as well. Maybe we can do a house fundraiser show. THAT DOESN't involve knocking over the mattress again.

I know, I know. I'm just cranky. Try to take most things I say in this thread with a grain of salt.

[Cherie]

a house show fundraiser is a good/fun idea!

[ZACH ATTACK]

Before we start planning anything I should figure out how much this is all going to cost. My old man's in town till Saturday, so it'll be Saturday or Sunday before I can figure any of this out.

[grind/bro]

she was a qt bring her here

YES SHE WAS.
Kelly, if you're reading this: Hi. I'm Nick. I'm a twenty-three year old male. Approximately five feet and ten inches. My interests include record stores, 20th century literature, cats, nice clothing and poetry. I value patience and loyalty. My best traits are my humour, forgiveness and my willingness to speak my mind with every ones best intention. I don't mind children, and parents usually get a kick out of my zest for life. My favourite time of the year is summer, because it means relaxing and having fun outdoors. However, I am a connoisseur more of arts and leisure. Perhaps we could attend the Art Gallery in town, or take in a brief play at the Belfry. Anyways I hope to hear from you soon, I will leave my email with hopes we can chat up a storm! Nicholas.Gibas@gmail.com

CHEERS!

[keith.]

i cannot compete with such caliber
im backing out

but kelly, if you enjoy making decions you regret later in life and enjoy cheap malt liquor. you know where to find me

[tylerp]

This is all very touching, but did it not occure to either of them to, you know, ask who to appologize to and then actually do it like a reasonable person? If you want to be friends with them that cool, but don't try to justify or rationalize them fucking my shit up and then doing absolutly noting about it.

I don't think they were aware that they possibly damaged or knocked anything important/breakable over. I don't know what they said to Willa when he got mad at them, but I'm willing to bet it was an apology.

any joking on my part is for the same reason as anyone else. my opinion of the situation stands, as does my opinion that everyone involved is a solid person. I'm sorry we disagree. I'm out of this whole thing. kelly has a link to the thread in her facebook messages. I'm especially sorry my response made you mad, zach, because I was hoping it would make you more sympathetic to my perspective. but I can't relate to yours at all. I still really like you and I'm hoping you don't hold any of this against me. so yeah, I've said everything I think about the situation and I'm out.

but I encourage keith to stay in.

[ZACH ATTACK]

I'm not going to hold anything said here against anybody and I don't think that this makes Kelly a terrible person, but I will say that's every easy to say that one should just let things slide when you aren't the one affected and by your own admission can't relate to the situation at hand. Maybe you're a more forgiving person than I am, but I really don't think I'm being unreasonable. If this was a touring band's gear we'd all be bending over backwards to make sure everything is okay. And while I neither expect nor want that, it really kind of rubs me the wrong when you say that she shouldn't be heald responsible for her action. I don't know what she said to Willa either, and to be totally honest, I don't really care. I don't know what he said to her, and again, I don't really care. It's my shit, meaning that I'm the one who has to live with the consequences. In this case it means spending money that I don't have. Apologizing to Willa isn't going to change that. She could have just appologized to me at the time, and since I hadn't noticed any damage I would have said it's cool and left it at that. But she didn't, and it only makes me that much more annoyed now that I have noticed damage. I'm sorry if mine and Willa's reactions scared her off from hardcore, but really, how else would you expect one to react? You have enough gear to know how much it costs. I think that all things considered, Willa yelling "What the fuck?" while I sat on the couch stone faced is a pretty tame reaction. Nobody got in her face or anything, just very calmly set everything back up and went about our night while she hid from everyone. It's understandable why she'd be uncomfortable, but that doesn't really excuse how she handled the situation. I still think you're a swell guy Tyler, and I'm not going to have this disagreement change our friendship, but as the dude affected by this I very strongly disagree with your opinion. Anyway, since you sent her thread I edited my intial post because most of it was crass and unnessesary and a knee jerk reaction on my part, but my point remains the same. My shit got fucked by because of her actions, accidental or not, and I have every right to be angry for not getting so much as a token "I'm sorry, is everything alright?" from her.

[JRIA]

I was gonna write "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" but then i read this:

I'm really glad this is such a joke to you guys.

which is funny but now im thinking if it was my guitar... id be kicking down doors.